cat_grant

Mon, 12 Apr 2004 23:06:46 GMT

Lois got in an accident a few days ago. She's alive, she's alive, but then she's in a coma.

Clark has been sitting there for quite a while. I'm beginning to get worried. He refuses to leave her room. Poor guy.

I went to visit her a couple of times but... it's sort of hard to see her like that. I mean, really. It's unreal. :/

Visit Lois Lane or send her flowers here.

Tue, 06 Apr 2004 06:05:38 GMT

How do I handle confrontation?

Sarcasm, my claws... I try to avoid physical fights because I am not so skilled in that field (unlike Lois). However, Lois has a job that requires that. I'm in a much safer field. Well, okay, I'm, a gossip columnist. I've received my share of threats, but you know what I mean. No one ever kidnapped me and threatened me with a gun. The only people I confront are my sources (who are usually nice to me except when I refuse to give them money for information), Perry (when he won't let me print something I put in my column), Lois and Clark (well, Lois), and my next door neighbour. The last time I remember physically fighting with someone was in high school.

What do you want on your tombstone, and why?

"The woman that lived for the fun of it." Well, okay, no. But I do live the moment to a certain extent. I don't want to think about it so early.

What is the most important decision you’ve made in your life, and why?

Probably to start working in the Planet. I love my job. The decision to move in with my mother after my parents divorced when I was 13. It was a question of custody as well, but I had a say in it. My father moved to Texas, and I didn;t want to move so far away. The divorce was hard enough for me. I missed him a lot, though.

If you could change one moment in your past, what would it be?

When I was in high school, in my senior year, they were offering a scholarship for Met-U that you had to apply for, and then get your marks above 90% to get it. I didn't apply, but I got very high marks that year. I nearly cried when I realized what I did. :/ But it turned out okay. They gave me a different one. :D I was never a very hardworking student until then. It was only in my senior year when I realized that to get into a decent college, I better work hard. And it paid off.

There isn't anything else I can think of that I regret doing. Maybe harassing Lois so much, but that really was fun. Well, I'm sorry, but it was. It was never out of pure hatred or evil. We were never enemies.

What makes you laugh?

When Sloth sulks about my not letting her chaise birds on the balcony. She's really funny. And then when Lois and Clark argue about something. Sometimes I consider writing something for the Star just because I want to write something about them, and Perry won't let me.

Out of the Five Senses, which would be the most devastating for you to lose?

Sight. Undoubtedly. I could get along without smell, taste, touch, and hearing. If I lost my sight, I'd rather be dead. This world is too beautiful.

Is there ever a good reason to get blinding drunk?

In a party it's never very necessary, though I've gotten very drunk more that a few times. The last time I had a really good reason to get drunk was a few years ago. I was pregnant... and I was going to have the baby. I thought about it for a while, and I decided I wanted it. Then I miscarried it. I felt so horrible. I went out to some club with a friend to distract myself, and ended up getting so drunk I'm lucky no one took advantage of me. She had to drag me out and then force me to give her my car keys. What are friends for?

Do you feel that you were born with a predetermined role in society? If so, how do you feel about it?

No. I don't think anyone is, except for maybe Superman. I think we are born into a world God created, but God doesn't control us and what happens. Well, maybe to a certain extent, but not with the big things. I think everyone is born with an equal chance to end up a millionaire or homeless.

Favorite guilty indulgence?

Hahaha. Men, most probably. Candy. Computer games (who would've known?).

Sat, 20 Mar 2004 11:17:17 GMT

If you were stranded on a desert island, what 3 things would you take along?

Well, I think one thing I'd take along would be a laptop, so I can find out gossip by email and then send my column to Perry. ;) I really like my job, you know.

I'd take my cat, Sloth. Yes, that name really fits her... sleeping in the closet all day. I love her. I love her more than anything. :)

Another thing would be a phone, so that I could order takeout. I don't want to starve.

Surprised I didn't say I want to bring along a guy? Well, you'd be surprised to find out that (from http://www.nameanalysis.com/):

Name: "Cathrine"
Origins: "Gaelic"
Meaning: "Form of the Greek Catherine meaning "pure"

Name: "Cat"
Origins: "Irish"
Meaning: "Pure"

And no matter how you spell it, it means the same.

Name: "Katherine"
Origins: "English"
Meaning: "Pure." Used since third century A.D. Early Latin forms "Katerina" and ""Caterina"" became ""Katharine"" and ""Catherine."" French "Cateline" and English ""Catlyn"" came into wider use during medieval period when variants multiplied."

I was shocked, too, but see for yourselves.

The first name of Cat leads you to assume considerable responsibility and to prefer to work independently, without direction or interference from others because you have very definite ideas of your own. Your mind is quick to comprehend and you can be depended upon to do any job well. Because you tend to be somewhat of a perfectionist, you might insist on doing too many things yourself instead of delegating jobs to others who might do less satisfactory work. This name does make you quite direct and straight-to-the-point.

(taken from http://www.kabalarians.com)

I don't know about perfectionist. I used to be very strict with myself when I was in high school, so I always had good grades, but now I'm a bit less like that.

Mon, 15 Mar 2004 04:06:58 GMT

Don't ever tell me I'm wrong when I judge a person.

Well, okay, so Clark isn't gay, so I was wrong about one thing.

But Lois and Clark make a great couple!

They look so cute when they wink or smile at each other from across the room or from each other's desks, or when Clark wants to look at her screen he leans over her shoulder much more than he used to and it is clear they are both distracted. They went into the copy room for about 15 minutes on friday, then came out with one copy.

Well, what? I'm a gossip columnist, it's my job to ~~spy~~ observe.

I'm good. :)

Maybe next I could set up Jimmy and Rohalia.

shudder Never mind, I think I need some sleep.

Is there such a thing as love at first sight

Sun, 07 Mar 2004 08:39:52 GMT

I think I missed that question, and that's one I'd like to answer.

No, I don't believe in love at first sight. The most you can get is an attraction, or an interest.

If you watch that person's behavior from afar, for a even few minutes, maybe then it's based on something other than appearance, but generally, no.

How many times have you though about your oldest friends, and noticed that they turned out to be completely different than the first impression they made? Take Lois. The first impression I got from her was a completely frigid personality.

And then there's Romeo and Juliet. Sure, they may have thought they were in love, but a nice ending they got. Not that that was their fault, really, but Romeo and Juliet is a dumb story. Very cliche, I would say. I always thought it was one of Shakespeare's drafts. What you get is this:
- two households. Both rich. Both powerful and influential in their city.
- teenage son and daughter of each fall in love upon seeing each other's pretty faces.
- parents object. (so far, very predictable)
- son kills daughter's cousin in a fight and is banned from the city.
- daughter is supposed to marry someone her father set her up with, but runs away to son. (we all knew this was coming)
- teenage girl runs \away from home to another city, to be with teenage boy, with the aid of a nun and a priest.
- daughter pretends she is dead. (another turn)
- son hears this and kills himself. (another cliche)
- daughter wakes up and finds son dead; kills herself. (and we knew this was going to happen once Romeo died)

And whatever happened to Rosaline? The girl Romeo was so deeply in love with at the beginning? A guy who forgets about his love upon seeing another girl is a guy with hormones. Plus they were teenagers, so that enforces my argument. The story is very predictable, too. I likes Shakespeare's other creations better.

There's also Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty who fall in love with their princes upon waking up and seeing them, but the key word here is fairy tale.

So no, I don't believe in love at first sight, as beautiful an idea as it may seem. I do believe in love, though. I just think it's rare.

Sat, 06 Mar 2004 04:09:30 GMT

Okay.

An interesting conversation with a certain person has led me to decide to post the following revelations, so that no one else ever suggests the oppoisite.

I do not get turned on in any way by group sex. I don't do it.
I do not read or view porn.
I do not do anything with the females. I am not a lesbian nor bisexual.
I do not in any way find incest "cool."
I do not in any way find transvestism "cool," either.
Anyone else who might do all those things should enjoy themselves and do whatever they want.

The next guy to suggest any of of above stated, will be seriously injured.

Sat, 06 Mar 2004 02:48:16 GMT

Well, Lois and Clark are going out tonight. Finally.

And Rick is... well, over. As in, I don't go out with people who run over cats and then laugh about it.

Sat, 28 Feb 2004 22:58:02 GMT

The Scare
_lois_lane_ and cat_grant
Not visible to other muses.

Lois Lane paced around her apartment, stewing.
She'd called her sister Lucy three times and got no
answer. 'Who else can I call?' she wondered. Her
stomach ached just thinking about it. Well, there was
one person she could call. One person who
just might understand her predicament. She
picked up the phone and dialed hurriedly, before she
could talk herself out of it. "Hello... Cat?"

Cat was lying on the floor, her face covered with a
mask and some cut cucumbers when she sought the phone
receiver blindly. "Lois? Hi. This is a suprise."

Lois sounded odd on the phone. Edgy. Almost panicked.
"I know, I know. I just didn't know who to call. I
need to talk to someone, and I thought you
might be able to help me. I know this is out of the
blue and all--" She babbled, not making much sense.
"It's... it's bad."

Cat sat up, mumbling a curse when the forgotten
cucumbers fell over. Lois did tend to exagerrate, but
enough to call her? "What's wrong? Did you have
another meet with George or something?"

"Well, yes..." Lois heaved a sigh. "And it didn't go
well at all. It was too soon to try and make up. I...
sort of walked in on George and his new boyfriend."
Lois cringed with humiliation, twisting her fingers
through the phone cord. "But, believe it or not,
that's not why I called."

Cat tried not to laugh. The idea of Lois walking in on
George and his boyfriend was amusing. "Uh, I bet it
wasn't pleasant. I can't relate to that, though,
sorry. What's wrong, though? Must be pretty bad if you
called me."

Lois felt her cheeks burn with humiliation. Good thing
she and Cat weren't face-to-face. "Cat, I'm... late."

Cat raised her eyebrows. "Er... how long? You know,
I've had so many false alarms I can tell you the best
thing is to just check and not panick right away. I
went crazy the first couple of times. I thought I'd
have to kill myself, I was so worried."

"I should have had it two or three weeks ago. And
then, you know how I was sick to my stomach? This can
only mean one thing..." Lois trembled.

This was bad. "Lois, the only advice I could
give you is check. Get one of those home test
thingies. You could have just missed it because you
were sick - it happens, you know."

"Do you think you could come over? Maybe?" She
couldn't believe she'd just asked Cat Grant to
her apartment. But at least Cat had experience with
this sort of thing.

"I guess, if it would make you feel better. Carter
Avenue, right? I'll be there in a half hour. I'll pick
up a couple of tests for you." This was surreal. Lois
Lane and Cat Grant, who would have though they'd ever
get along. Let alone this much - Lois never needed
support. Or at least she never showed it.

"Carter Avenue, right. And thanks, Cat..." She set the
phone down in its cradle.

* * * * *

Cat knocked on the door. She hoped Lois was still fine
- after all, pregnant or not, she was feeling sick
lately.

It was still quite hot in Metropolis due to the recent
heat wave. It shouldn't have surprised Lois when Cat
arrived in a gold lame bikini.

She handed Lois the bag in her hand. "Hi. Do you want
to do it now?"

Lois stared at the drug store bag and withdrew the
at-home pregnancy test as though it was something
hideous. She skimmed over the instructions. "I guess
the sooner the better, right?" she said, already
looking defeated.

Cat couldn't help but sympathize. She put her hand on
Lois's shoulder. "Don't worry. Even if you are
pregnant, what's the worst that can happen?" She led
her into the bathroom. "Now you take the test, so you
can calm down."

"What's the worst that can happen? I don't even want
to think about it..." Lois shut the bathroom
door. She took her time, reading the instructions
twice so as to make sure she'd done everything right.
She emerged from the bathroom moments later. "Fifteen
minutes," she said with a sigh.

Cat sighed. "Just sit down. It'll be fine. What
exactly is so bad about having children?" She couldn't
believe those words were coming out of her mouth, Miss
Cat 'casual romance and nothing else' Grant.

Lois sank into her sofa dejectedly. "What in the world
would I do with a kid? And how could I tell George
after things went so badly when I tried to visit?
Besides, I'd be a terrible parent. My job... it's too
time-consuming. How could I do that to a kid?"

Cat waved her hand in the air. "Don't be afraid of
what George will say. He may not be in love with you,
but hopefully he has enough common sense to realize
it's not like you woke up one morning and said, 'oh, I
think today I'll get pregnant'. And why do you think
you'd be a bad parent? George is not off the hook
here. He can babysit, too, you know. Although I would
understand if you didn't want him to... Anyway, you
know, even if you are a single mother, you do have
friends that could help you, right? You aren't alone
by far, if you think about it."

Lois looked like she might cry. "Cat, I can't do this.
Do you realize how much I'd have to give up? I can't
even stand to think about it. Maternity leave alone
would kill me. I was so careful, Cat. We used
protection. Then, one day we didn't. I'm on the pill,
I trusted it... but then nothing is a hundred percent
accurate, is it?"

Cat sat down next to Lois. "The pill is ninety nine
point nine percent accurate, most of the time, if you
take it every day. If you took your pills every day,
you probably missed it because you've been sick. You
know, it happens, like I said earlier. But Lois...
there's always abortion," she said the last sentence
almost whispering, as if fearing Lois's reaction.

Lois sighed. "I know." She wrung her hands worriedly.
She knew deep down it would probably come down to
that. But when faced with it, it felt so... wrong. She
looked at her watch. It had only been five minutes.
"This is the longest fifteen minutes of my life," she
groaned.

Cat chuckled. "That's what I said last time I was at
the dentist's."

Lois had to smile. 'Cat's a pretty decent person when
she isn't harassing me,' she thought. Her face fell at
another realization. Her friends. "What happens
when people find out? Everyone at the Planet...
People will talk."

"People do talk. And I can tell you that, I could have
enough material for my column for the next month if
Perry let me use everything I hear at the
Planet. But they knew you were involved in a
relationship - it's not like you were single for years
and suddenly got pregnant. Don't worry."

Lois frowned. This couldn't be happening. "George is
going to feel lynched into this. Like I planned it.
Things have been going so badly since we broke it off.
His friends despise me. But how could I not tell him?
I feel like--well, even if I decided to get it taken
care of at a clinic, he at least has the right to know
before I do..."

Cat raised an eyebrow. "Maybe you're right, but what's
wrong with telling him? He doesn't hate you. And trust
me, I don't think he'll believe you planned this.
Time?"

She looked at her watch. "Almost. Two minutes."

"God. Now I'm nervous, too."

Somehow, somewhere deep-down, Cat's concern was a real
comfort. "So this has happened to you before? And all
false alarms?"

Cat looked down. "Most of them. I got pregnant
once..."

"Really?" Lois said softly.

"Yeah." She turned to look at Lois. "I was going to
have the baby. I thought about it for a while, and I
decided I wanted to have it. I carried it for 3
months! And then..." She looked back down. "Then I had
a miscarriage. And that was that."

"Oh, God. Cat, I'm sorry..." Lois said in an
almost-whisper. "That must have been terrible. Your
boyfriend, was he still in the picture when it
happened?"

"He was there, but we were just friends by then. It
was a long time ago, I got over it, really. I think he
was relieved." She looked up at the ceiling,
irritated. "You should have seen his face when I told
him. He could have at least pretended to be sorry!"

"Jerk," Lois muttered. "That must have been so hard.
But then, maybe things happen for a reason. Do you
want a family someday, Cat? I never thought of you as
the 'settling down' type."

Cat paused for a minute. "I guess, someday. I don't
know why I go through men the way I do, but even the
ones that lasted for a week or two - I could never see
myself staying with them for any longer. I don't dump
guys because I mean to be a tease. I'm just picky. Or
careful. Either way - I guess when the right time and
the right man comes, it'll just happen. I never
planned anything for the future, but look how that
turned out - I ended up working for one of the best
newspapers in America." She smiled. "And I don't
regret that."

A small smile crossed Lois' face. "That's a good way
to look at it. I agree with you. Laying out a plan is
futile. There's nothing wrong with being picky,
anyhow." Lois looked at her watch. "Time's up." She
took a deep breath. Pink line, yes; Blue plus, no...
Or was it one line, yes; two lines, no? "Would you...
do the honors? I can barely remember what symbol means
what..." She cast a nervous glance in the direction of
the bathroom, where the test lay, results waiting.

Cat stood up. "Okay. Give me the package." She picked
the package up from the table and read the back.
"Okay. Take a deep breath."

Lois did, and clasped her shaky hands in a vain
attempt to ease her nerves.

Cat walked into the bathroom. She emerged a minute
later, holding the white plastic device, and with a
final look at it, held it out for Lois to see. "It's
negative."

Lois stood up and stared at it in disbelief. "Thank
God!" she cried out as the realization hit her.
Negative! She wasn't! She threw her arms
around Cat and squeezed her tightly. When she pulled
back, Cat had a very bewildered expression on her
face. "Don't worry, that won't happen again," Lois
said with a smirk.

Cat's expression softened. "Don't worry, I just wasn't
expecting this. None of that in the Planet,
though - after all, I do have a reputation to
keep up," her expression turning playfully stern. "I'm
glad you're okay."

Lois grinned. "Ha. I have a reputation, too. You think
'Mad Dog Lane' goes around hugging gossip columnists?
I think not!" Her face fell. "Cat, if you breathe a
word about this to anyone--"

"-- It's okay, Lois. Your secret's safe with me. But
you have to promise not to tell anyone anything you
found out about me tonight, too!"

"Of course not, Cat. I would never tell anyone." Lois
couldn't believe she and Cat had shared as much as
they did. "My God, if Clark ever found out, I'd be so
embarrassed," she said, thinking aloud.

Cat tilted her head to the side. "Why? If you think
about it, he never did anything to embarrass you, and
you've been partners for enough time now. It's time
you start being friends, at least!"

"It's just... well, look at him. He's so darn
wholesome. I'd hate for him to think I was some
kind of easy city girl. I have to admit, I've taken a
liking to having him as a partner," Lois replied
honestly.

"He won't think that. Trust me - no one at the
Planet will ever think you are easy. But you have to
stop doing this to yourself - you did not have a one
night stand, for crying out loud! You had a
boyfriend!" She sighed. "Besides, it was a false
alarm, after all. You're not pregnant."

"You're right... And no one will find out about this
scare, either. Everything that happened here is
between you and me."

"Deal."

Thu, 26 Feb 2004 01:03:28 GMT

Back after a while. I was never very good of keeping a diary.

A friend of mine tried to set me up on a blind date yesterday. Let me tell you - it did not go well. He kept playing the Spice Girls in his car like some teenage girl, and then he took me to see Blue Chips. It, by the way, sucked. I don't know what's up, I just hated it. Maybe because of the company. Dinner was looking better, until he ordered some mussels, shifted his chair so that he was beside me and suggested we feed each other.

Uh, it may surprise you, but I don't usually like it when guys come on too strong. 0r icky. Mussels are not my thing. Now strawberries I would consider.

Whatever. I'm just glad he didn't take me to a Drive-In.

I've got a date with a guy named Rick tomorrow. I met him a few times when I was convering stories for Perry - he is a photographer, either for the Star or for the Whisperer, can't remember. Update later.

Fri, 13 Feb 2004 10:18:47 GMT

Lois interviewed me. This is what the world famous reporter asks people in interviews. Erm...

1.) Where would you like to travel (someplace you haven't been yet)?

I'd like to visit Gotham City and find out what the deal is with that Batman guy. I mean, it's probably a rumor but I'm still curious. ~~Besides, he sounds like a guy worth knowing~~...

2.) If your apartment was on fire, what one inanimate object would you carry with you to safety?

Here I have to say that the first animate object I'd carry to safety is my cat. Now. As for inanimate... my picture album, probably. I mean, I have pictures of a lot of epople in it who are special to me, and some of those have even passed away. And maybe my laptop...

3.) What ice cream flavor best expresses your personality?

Probably strawberry. Evryone likes it once they try it, but everyone is also intimidated by it at first.

4.) If you weren't a columnist, what other career would you be interested in?

I'm tempted to say prostitute just to satisfy Lois, but that would not be true. I'd probably have been a writer, or something similar. Believe it or not. One of the reasons I became a columnist is because I like to write, you know.

5.) What's your favorite sexual position?

Erm... my intentions of keeping this journal pg-13 prevents me from answering this. ~~Any men out there who want to find out know how to do that...~~

Fri, 13 Feb 2004 10:01:48 GMT

Your True Nature by llScorpiusll
Username
The quality that most appeals to you:	Empathy
In a survival situation, you:	Scream for help
Your hidden talent is:	Adaptability
Your gift is:	Artistic talent
In groups, you:	Are the entertainment
Your best quality is:	Your inclusiveness
Your weakness is:	Your laziness

Created with quill18's MemeGen 2.0!

Hm. I don't know about empathy. But that is pretty good in a man... As for laziness, well, cats are best known for that.

Wed, 11 Feb 2004 03:51:08 GMT

Congratulations!
Your kinky sex score was 413!

Here is the chart so that you can see how you are rated:

Under 100 You need to lighten up and live a little!
100 to 200 You have an average sex drive in need of kink.
201 to 300 You have sweet hints of a kinky nature.
300 to 400 You are definitely a kinky player.
400 to 500 You are a major league kinkster!
500 or more Wow! You're too kinky for most!!!
600 or more SUPER FREAK ALERT! You da BOMB!

Oh, my. Never thought I was that bad.

Oh, well.

Mon, 09 Feb 2004 01:33:03 GMT

I know I haven't been writing. I've been kept busy ~~by John~~ at work. You know how it is...

Anyway, now that Lois and Clark are back from Smallville, I can observe them again. You know, I'm convinced that even though he's probably gay and she might as well be, too, they're going to end up together. They didn't even bring me a picture! ~~I might have to forge one...~~

It's been really hot lately. It's horrible! Whoever thought snow was bad hasn't visited Metropolis lately!

They're thinking it's Superman's fault but that sounds stupid. I mean, really - did these scientists even pass science in high school? Sheesh. Even if the sun regenerates him, it also regenerates everything else.

Sun, 01 Feb 2004 07:47:39 GMT

What is my favourite guilty pleasure?

Um, isn't it obvious?

I like going to some bar in the middle of the night and hitting on the hottest guy. Then I like to tease him for a bit before (maybe) letting him take me somewhere.

Too bad I can only do that on weekends. Perry likes his reporters in early. *rolls eyes*

Sat, 31 Jan 2004 06:05:40 GMT

Perry made me cover this totally weird convention for Cat's Corner today. I mean, he doesn't usually make me go to conventions or ANYTHING for my column. He just let's me pick out whatever dirt I find. Maybe he just wanted to stop me from publishing a fabricated photo of Lois and Clark on a farm, feeding cows. Not that I had one ready, but hypothetically speaking.

Haha. Well, Eric and I are going out in two minutes. Update maybe tomorrow morning on that. :D

Mon, 26 Jan 2004 08:17:55 GMT

What will your last words be? by cum_on_bitch
Your LJ username
Your real name
Your sex
Your age
Your last words will be...	"sex?!!?"

Created with quill18's MemeGen 2.0!

How typical of me. *makes innocent face*

Your Inner Kitty by gifted_one
Username
Fur length	Long
Colors	Dark Gray, blue eyes
Kitty accessories	A spiked collar
Favorite thing to say	"Don't bother me."
# of lives you have left	1

Created with quill18's MemeGen 2.0!

Mon, 26 Jan 2004 02:03:34 GMT

How did I lose my virginity?

He was 17, I was 15. I was a cheerleader, he was a co-coach doing volunteer work.

He asked me out one day, when his parents were out of town. I agreed. He rented Grease, which came out just the year before, and we had a really good time. Then it happened. He was nice and sweet and gentle. We went out for a couple of weeks after that, and then I guess I lost interest. I know that's a pretty awful thing to say, but you know how it is when you're fifteen.

Mon, 26 Jan 2004 01:10:22 GMT

This is so unfair. I know I sound like a little kid saying that, but it is. I've been trying to get Clark's attention since he got here and Lois was nothing but rude, and SHE gets to go to Smallville with him for a whole weekend!

You know what I think? I think she's planning to kill him and leave him to rot in some corn field.

At least we'll know what happened if he doesn't come back.

It's kind of strange, though, that the corn festival is in January. I thought it was supposed to be in November. But you know small towns - if you want to postpone something all you need to do is notify the hogs.

Sun, 25 Jan 2004 04:11:45 GMT

I can't believe they actually went against a crazy magician that made kids disappear from boxes, and hypnotized Superman.

(See, I told you he can't be that pure!)

And to think I am the one who brought them there in the first place.

You know what I think, though? All this talk about hypnosis is giving me ideas about a certin gay hottie. :D

Sat, 24 Jan 2004 04:47:09 GMT

Hi, all!

Okay, I should introduce myself. Cathrine Grant, gossip columnist of the Daily Planet. No one had called me Cathrine since junior high, though. Call me Cat or suffer the wrath of my claws. And you will.

My current project is Superman: the man can't be that pure. Besides, word on the street says he walks among us. Anyway... I do pay well to my tippers.

We got a new employee just recently- Clark Kent. He got partnered with Lois Lane- poor guy. That woman is all work and no personality.

He seems to like her, though. Sometimes I think he is gay. I know what you're thinking, but see, he even rejected me. Me. But it's all temporary. You'll see. I have been known to help people sort through their sexual identity.

The secret is leather.